by Ben Warner
Some conversation don’ts are obvious, but the more subtle ones can get you in trouble. Here are 6 things not to do on a first date.
I once went on a first (and last) date with a woman who broke the ice by telling me that she had been married three times, kept getting hurt and used by all, and was still living with her last ex!
There was more; something about a scheme to ensure that she gets the whole matrimonial property, but I was hardly listening by that point. All I could think was, “Why are you telling me this?!”
Dating ‘don’ts’ are things you should never do or say on a date, first or otherwise. When the other person shows you these ‘don’ts’, it’s time to bounce!
Most of us know what you should never say on a first date. For the most part, it’s a no-brainer.
I remember going out on a date once, and while we were driving to the restaurant, she turned the music on, and sang aloud to it while she had tears in her eyes. About 2 minutes later, I realized that the songs were all romantic ballads, and the lyrics were all about a woman crying out for her lost love!! I suggested we go for a quick drink instead, and gulped down 2 gin and tonics and made the quickest exit I had ever made in my life.
So the moral of the story is, that she doesn’t want to hear about what went wrong in your past relationships (at least not on the first date); how your ex was the sexiest, most devoted or loving woman ever, what her favorite drink was, or how she was always punctual for a date!
If it’s a blind date, DON’T compare yourself physically to anyone famous.
We all know this never works the way we’d like it to. Sure, most of us have someone famous we’ve been compared to.
My point? Most people look like a more slightly distorted version of some celebrity. I’ve never met anyone who really looked like the fabulous celebrity they said they looked like. So proceed with caution. Unless, of course, you are drop dead gorgeous, then you can say the famous ones look like you 😉
DON’T check out other people. DUH.
Ah, nothing is more of a turn-off than to be out on a date with someone, and notice him checking out the girl with the cleavage right in front of your face, or to notice her checking out that guy with the tightest butt she’s ever seen!
It might not happen often, and it’s usually another sign of insecurity, but if it does, I usually try to have a comment handy, maybe something like “you know, if you hurry, you can get that guy to hold the bucket of drool that’s falling from your lips. Go ahead, I’ll wait…”
Please please don’t ever check someone else out when you’re on date. It really is an instant turn off, unless of course, that’s your intention.
DON’T ask them what they think of you
For Pete’s sake. Read the signals. You’ll know if she’s repulsed by you, or she’s attracted to you.
I once had a date with a woman that I had been communicating with over the phone for some time. I really liked the person she was over the phone. About 5 minutes into our first face-to-face date, she asked me if I was disappointed.
During the rest of the evening, she asked me that same question about a half dozen more times. This extreme lack of confidence made her much less attractive to me. So she stayed in the friends category. So don’t forget, one of the most attractive qualities is confidence without arrogance.
DON’T EVER push for sex on the first date.
If she asks you back to her place for coffee, it’s likely that she wants to get closer in some fashion. If she really wants one last glass of pink bubbly, she should suggest a late-night bar.
You know, the older I get, the more moralistic I become. Yeah, I know, it’s a sign of old age (just a bit!) but I’ve made a few mistakes, and this one I just have to stand by.
The thing is, I think this rule bothers men far more than women. Guys, if she likes you a lot, and she sees promise, she’s going to lean towards wanting to sleep with you at some point. It doesn’t mean she’s had sexual relations with every dude that she dates.