by Ben Warner
Ugh. Where do I start?
When I first started dating online, it was exciting. Every evening I actually looked forward to firing up my laptop and checking my account to see who was actually interested in chatting, and perhaps taking it a step further…coffee 🙂
But after going through more than my fair share of false starts, ghosts and straight up dishonest women, I’ve decided that I’m done. I can’t take one more bad blind date.
Let me be clear here; I don’t give a shit about how many men that women who happen to be reading this piece have been deceived in the name of online dating. I know that those assholes are out there, (I don’t happen to be one of them), I don’t date men, and this is about my experience with the shit show that is online dating.
However, I’m hoping that some of what I’m telling you here will make sense, and you’ll skip the whole online dating crap show for the potential of finding someone in the real world.
Since I started dating online, I’ve been stood up, ghosted, and cat-fished (numerous times). I’ve met women who were not remotely who or what they said they were, even after chatting by text for weeks at a time, and I’ve decided that nothing is worth this kind of stress. Not even the possibility of meeting Ms. Right.
At first, I thought it would be a cool way to meet people that I wouldn’t ordinarily cross paths with. But honestly speaking, not crossing paths with some of these people in my regular schedule is most definitely a good thing.
I’ve sworn off online dating because I’m realizing that when you meet someone online, that person can be Whomever they want you to think they are. And most of them are truly pushing the fantasy; I’ve met women who’re 20+ years older than they stated in their profile (and sent me 20 year old pics), I met a woman who brought her kids along on the date. I even met a woman who, after reading that I don’t date women with young children in my profile, told me that she had a kid, but that the kid was pretty self-sufficient, and she wasn’t looking for a father for her. When I asked how old the child was, she replied with “oh, she’s 5”.
Fuck my life.
So I’ve had it. I’m going back to dating the ‘old school way’; the way that has worked since the dawn of time. But unlike one of my friends, I’m only going to date women who’re introduced to me by a trusted friend. None of this ‘meeting her at a coffee shop’ bullshit. If I’m gonna do that, I might as well fucking stick with dating online, because all I know about ‘coffee shop girl’ (besides what she actually looks like…can’t lie there) is what she wants me to know (or think) about her.
This isn’t a rant. This is facts. There’s too much at stake to be leaving it up to some random ‘algorithm’ that supposedly determines whether or not two people are at all compatible. Those algorithms can only function based on the information they’re given, and if that information is shit, then compatibility will be too.
That explains a LOT.